Valentine Day’s special: Unrequited Love in Classic horror films

Kong's misguided attempt at wooing women. (KING KONG. Merian C. Cooper, Ernest B. Schoedsack. 1933)

Why can't monsters ever get the girl?

We’ve all been there before; We meet someone. It’s love at first sight. But it’s a one-way attraction. The target of your affection has no clue you are alive, is indifferent, or worse, is repelled by you.

This unrequited love is a veritable plague that curses a plethora of monsters from classic horror films, but then again, maybe we can learn a little something from those doomed relationships.

The first problem is in the approach. There seems to be this tendency to start the ‘’relationship’’ with an unhealthy amount of stalking. To observe the object of the affection from afar, letting the desire build within one’s breast. In itself, this isn’t unlike the very beginning of a healthy kinship. But it tends to prolong perilously and get downright creepy in its excesses.

Erik, in THE PHANTOM OF THE OPERA, while desiring to positively influence his beloved Christine’s singing career, will go as far as threaten her rival’s life. Not the best way to make a good first impression. Although it may manage to flatter the object of your desire in some disturbing way, it paints a poor portrait of your mental stability.

Christine is not won over by Erik's possessiveness in THE PHANTOM OF THE OPERA (Rupert Julian, Lon Chaney, Ernst Laemmle. 1925).

THE CREATURE FROM THE BLACK LAGOON would longingly swim underneath the winsome Julia Adams unbeknownst to her, leering at her ominously in an elegant underwater ballet. This loving admiration would be upset by his aggressiveness towards her shipmates, once again creating some unwelcome awkwardness. 

The Gillman's aquatic ''Pas-de-deux'' with Julia Adams in CREATURE FROM THE BLACK LAGOON (Jack Arnold. 1954)

This often sinister pursuit is aggravated by the next mistake that those monster all commit; an inappropriate feeling of over-possessiveness. Like Madame de Beaumont’s Beast who kidnaps and holds captive Belle, who slowly develops a Stockholm syndrome and falls for her captor, these misguided unloved creatures hope the same will occur with their own preys. But Fay Wray never falls for KING KONG who abducts her (although recent versions of the film imply the contrary, as Guillermin’s 1976 version shows Jessica Lange’s Darrow going all the way from calling Kong a ‘’chauvinistic Pic Ape’’ to crying upon his untimely demise. And in Peter Jackson’s epic 2005 remake, the affection between Kong and Naomi Watts’ Darrow hints more at a kind of love that is impossible instead of being unrequited), while Julia Adams is terrified by the Creature, and Christine is repulsed by Erik’s terrifying countenance. 

The impossible love between Ann Darrow and Kong (KING KONG. Peter Jackson. 2005)

Bela Lugosi’s DRACULA will go as far as trying to control Mina Harker and bend her to his will through his hypnotic domination and his multiple nightly visits in her bedroom to ‘’bite her on the neck’’. Grabbing the unwilling woman, kidnapping her or even undressing her outright (like Kong does in both 1933 and 1976 versions) will never result in a healthy relationship, but will instead lead to a certain doom.

Bela Lugosi's creepy improper bedroom visits in DRACULA. (Tod Browning. 1931)

The only monster who seemed at first glance to have a healthy attitude towards women was FRANKENSTEIN’s creature. His inherent innocence was probably the case for this. (And the fact that the original novel was written by a woman might help) His worst sin is throwing a little girl in a lake, yet it was done without malice. However, this same innocence leads him to believe that a woman could be ‘’made especially for him’’.   He made the mistake to believe in an arranged union, which often ends like his did, with rejection and heartache.

Boris Karloff's heartbreaking first date with Elsa Lanchaster. (BRIDE OF FRANKENSTEIN. James Whale. 1935)

So what can we learn from Erik, Gillman, Kong, Vlad and Franky?

-          First: Don’t be a creep. Admiring from a distance at first can be romantic, but there is a fine line between admiration and stalking.

-      Second: Threatening her friends or romantic rivals only makes you look desperate.

-          Third: Treat a woman with dignity. Biting her or undressing her on a first date is a no-no.

-          Fourth: You do not ‘’get’’ the girl. Kidnapping only ends up in romance in movies, or with people with psychological issues. (Although, if you resort to kidnapping, then you may have your own issues in the first place)

Many of us have felt like a monster at some point in our lives; Rejected. Unlovable. Ridiculed.

But we can’t let it make us ACT like one to try to get close to a loved one.

All monsters could learn a thing or two from ‘’the asset’’ in Guillermo Del Toro’s THE SHAPE OF WATER. You let a relationship develop organically. You dine together. Learn from each other. Explore each other’s worlds, and pretty soon, you all are changed by the experience.

Happy Valentine’s Day.